Being a parent in the midst of a global pandemic is hard. Being a parent with inner peace in the midst of a global pandemic sounds darn near impossible. But is it?! It is easy to get carried away in the ways of the world, worrying about what bad news will come down the pike next and fretting about how it will impact your world but what if it’s not inevitable. What if we can find peace and tranquility within ourselves and our families even during the chaos around us?
As the mother of a wild 4yo, owner of a small business, wife of a teacher, and citizen of a hotspot in this pandemic, there have been moments lately that have felt very dark in my world. I wonder how the state of the world today will affect the development and happiness of my child. I worry that the daily tension will damage my marriage. I fear the financial consequences from economic damages to my business. There is no question that I regularly lose sleep and peace over these things.
We have choices in our turmoil. Choosing to dwell and stew and worry would not be inappropriate at a time like this, but is it constructive? Will it make things better? Instead, what if we concede our lack of control and do the things in our power to improve our lives and those around us?
In times of stress and times of peace, relying on positive practices, powerful affirmations, and honest communication help push through the muck to clear the mind for deeper understanding.
MEDITATION
I find meditation and prayer to be very similar practices. Both are acts of mindfulness focusing on an idea with such attention and awareness that it brings clarity of mind and emotional stability to the person practicing the meditation or prayer. Does this mean you need to light candles and diffuse essential oils, sit cross legged and chant affirmations? Nope. When hearing reference to meditation, if you find that it makes you uncomfortable, think of it as prayer — that’s what it is. You don’t need to be laid out on a yoga mat or alone in a dark room for hours and you don’t need to be in church. Meditation and prayer can happen wherever and whenever you need it to. I find the most peace and reflective thought in my bathtub and my car. I put my phone down, lock the door, and focus on the things that need attention in my life. What do I have to be grateful for? What good have I done this week? Why am I feeling anxious? The answers to these questions are the things I meditate on.
Even though finding the time to spend in meditation, daily prayer or even keeping a prayer journal will not change the state of the world, it will change the state of your mind, which will change the state of *your* world. Things feel out of control, so let’s do what is within our control to spur positive change.
POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
Do you ever find yourself being kinder to the cashier at the grocery store than you are to yourself when you get back in the car? I hope it’s not just me. What if we truly treated others the way we treat ourselves? This seems like a no-brainer — we should be good to others and therefore good to ourselves, right?! but are we?! Falling into patterns of feeling inadequate and self-deprecating is common but it shouldn’t be acceptable. Would you ever tell your neighbor that they are less than worthy of anything? They’re not good enough? No way. Even worse, what if they felt that way *because* of you. That’s what we do to ourselves. I have found that repeating positive affirmations to myself helps turn this mindset around. Now, hear me out. You don’t have to be chanting affirmations to yourself in your car. What if instead you wore a shirt that said ‘See the Good’ or ‘Choose Joy’? What if you set yourself a reminder on your phone that pings every 3 hours telling you to do something kind for someone or to be proud of yourself? When I wear my shirt that says ‘It is well with my soul’ and see myself in the mirror — I feel that. You know what?! I bet the cashier at the grocery store can feel it too.
COMMUNICATION
This one is hard for me but y’all it is so important. We need to get our feelings out of our heads and our hearts and into words that we can *do* something with. Internalizing feelings of dread or depression or anxiety may feel like the right thing to do so you’re not affecting those around you but girl, it is not. You do not have to ‘fake it ‘till you make it’. Communication can happen personally through a journal or intimately through conversation with your family or friends. Journaling is a great way to prioritize feelings and fears, making you dive deep within yourself to pull out some explanations. Writing down your thoughts is also a great way to include those positive affirmations we just talked about. Celebrate your successes. You did a great job — GLOAT! At least to yourself.
After you’re done processing your own feelings through the journaling process, take those emotions to those that you love and TALK.IT.OUT. Accepting that others have an important and unique perspective on a life that isn’t their own is huge and helpful. You don’t have to ask for advice or be seeking answers, you can just be talking to someone you love about something that is important to you. Nothing has to be solved to feel better about it.
We’re not on this earth to do this stuff alone. Finding the calm in the storm needs to be a priority and I hope you’ll keep searching.
